Inside My Heart

From the Depths of Sorrow is a series in which I reveal my heart and personal journey through my grief. Our son, William, passed away at age 11 months and 10 days on April 24, 2012. He is dearly missed by everyone in our family and we hope to live a life worthy of reuniting with him and our first child that we lost through miscarriage.

Inside My Heart

Sometimes the sorrow is crushing.  I find it hard to imagine anything hurting more because this is the most I’ve ever hurt.  My sadness weighs on me like a ton of bricks crushing my spirit.  I feel in the depths of sorrow.  Sometimes when I am here it is painful beyond belief.  Sometimes when I am there it is enlightening.

I go down deep to a place that has stripped me of everthing.  I feel completely barren and the only thing I have to cling to is faith.  When all is gone only God is left.  I think of Him like this rock that is strong and I thrust myself upon Him.

I realize just how little I am in this universe.  I realize how nothing matters but loving God by loving others.  I feel completely emptied of the cares of this world.  I liken it to being on my death bed.  Does anything really matter at that point?  All that is left is to go out of this world. 

From the Depths of Sorrow

by Veronica Wallace


Locked away in darkness

This is where I want to be

Gloom can encompass me

Sorrow can envelop me

Pain can consume me

Heartache can discourage me

Suffering can become me


I remain among the living and my vocation calls me to be in this world of needing to do stuff.  I am called to care about the little things that seem so unimportant.  I am called to care about the big things that do need my attention.  I am called to continue despite my grief.  I struggle to continue and go very slow, clinging to my rock.


Never Alone

by Veronica Wallace


I do not cry in secret

Away from God’s eyes

I do not suffer by myself


No, He is not standing by me

Saying everything will be okay


He is not comforting me

Telling me to be at peace


When I am in the depths

In the Garden of my agony

God sorrows with me 


We sang the following verse in Church one day and I identified with it so readily that I wrote it down when I got home.  “And when human hearts are breaking under sorrow’s iron rod, Then we find that self-same aching deep within the heart of God.”  Timothy Rees hymnographer

Remember when you are suffering, God sorrows with you.



Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.