Discerning Family Size

Another Child?

This can be an easy question or a difficult one.  Some desire to have another child but that desire remains unfulfilled.  Some don’t even want to consider another child because life is just too hectic at present.  Some are just not sure if this is the “right” time.

Wherever you are on the question, maybe none of the above.  I would like to share our present situation with you.

In February, my husband and I knew that partaking in the marital embrace could result in a pregnancy.  Our little one was about to turn 9 months old.  He was crawling everywhere and getting into everything and bringing a smile to everyone’s face as he did it.

March came and my temperatures were up (we use natural family planning) and we were pretty sure I might be pregnant.  We did have some possible doubts because my cycles were also behaving in a premenopausal way.  We confirmed our pregnancy and told the kids on my daughter’s 7th birthday at the end of March.

Once in a while I would think about how I would do a task with a nursing baby and 17 month old running around.  I wouldn’t spend much time pondering and just answer myself like I always did.  “God will help me and it will all work out.”  This wasn’t new because I always before had a new baby and and an older baby to care for together.  I told my now 10 month old that he was going to be a big brother.  I was hoping for a boy so they would be close in age and the same sex.

All the kids knew the routine.  Mom is having a baby for us.  I always presented a new sibling as a gift to my children.  I think this helps avoid any negative feelings by the children because they know from the beginning it is more their baby than mine.  I am the one growing their gift.  Little ones would latch onto this excitement and hug or kiss my belly and say to me, “When are you going to get my baby out?”

Outsiders and unfortunately family members can look at an expecting mom with small children and think and say unkind discouraging words.  How are you going to take care of them all?  How are you going to watch a newborn and a toddler at the same time?  You should have waited longer before coming out pregnant again.

April came around and my baby turned 11 months old.  The one in my womb was around 10 weeks.  All was going well.  Everyone was growing, healthy, learning, loving, and enjoying life.

On April 23, my happy, healthy, beautiful 11 month old stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating.  Totally unexpected and unexplainable.    On April 24, my 11 month old entered into eternal rest.

Currently I am still pregnant, a little over 3 months.  I pray that I will carry this baby to term and have my arms filled once again.  This baby is by no means a replacement for our dear departed son, but amid my pain and sorrow, this baby represents a hope within me.  A hope to nurse again, a hope to hold a baby of my own again, a hope to kiss little feet again, and all the things that mommies love to do.

I present this story to you because the question of another child can seem clear cut at times or so we think.  We don’t know the future and perspective can change overnight.  When we conceived our current pregnancy we had no idea, our baby son was going to die in a few months.  Don’t be afraid to be open to life.  God will not give you anything that you can’t handle.  If things are hard and it brings you to your knees and you’re praying more- isn’t that a good thing?  Don’t misinterpret my thoughts; I am not saying, “Just have as many kids as you can and it will all work out.”

I just want you to prayerfully consider if another child is a question for you.  If you are expecting a baby now and wondering how you are going to accomplish it all; know that God is ready to take your efforts and bless them if you allow Him to do so.

Happy Mother’s Day!

1 Comment

  1. God bless you, Veronica (and the whole family!). What a beautiful statement you have just written. What an encouragement to us all! Since we moved so shortly after William's passing, I never got to say good-bye and give you that hug I so wanted to. So, cyber <<hugs>> to you and the family. God be with you until we meet again!


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